Epictetus Enchiridion
Epictetus: Women from fourteen years old are flattered…
Women from fourteen years old are flattered with the title of "mistresses" by the men. Therefore, perceiving that they are regarded only as qualified to give the men pleasure, they begin to adorn themselves, and in that to place ill their hopes. We should, therefore, fix our attention on making them sensible that they are valued for the appearance of decent, modest and discreet behavior.
The passage follows a public-domain translation of the Enchiridion. The reading beside it is ours.
This passage reflects an ancient and unfair culture that measured girls by their appeal to men. Its useful warning remains relevant: when people are valued mainly for appearance, desirability, or social approval, they may be pushed to build their whole identity around those unstable things. That pressure now reaches everyone through advertising, filters, comments, and comparison. The Stoic correction is not to shame anyone for caring about how they look. It is to insist that a person's worth is deeper than beauty, youth, or another person's attention. Character, judgment, competence, kindness, and courage deserve cultivation because they remain meaningful when fashions and approval change. If you are raising a child, praise effort, honesty, curiosity, and resilience as much as appearance. If you are speaking to yourself, do the same. Build an identity that cannot be reduced to being admired.
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