Marcus Aurelius Meditations
Marcus Aurelius: To pierce and penetrate into the estate…
To pierce and penetrate into the estate of every one's understanding that thou hast to do with: as also to make the estate of thine own open, and penetrable to any other.
The passage follows a public-domain translation of Meditations. The reading beside it is ours.
Good relationships require two forms of understanding. We must try to see into the other person’s mind—their concerns, incentives, fears, and assumptions. And we must make our own mind visible enough that they are not forced to guess. Most conflict fails on one of these sides. We assume bad motives without asking questions, or we expect people to understand our needs while hiding them behind sarcasm, silence, or vague hints. Marcus calls for both empathy and candor. Listen for what the other person is actually trying to protect. Then state your own position plainly, without making it an attack. This applies at work, in marriage, and with friends. Today, in one difficult conversation, replace one assumption with a question and one guarded feeling with an honest sentence. Mutual clarity is a form of justice.
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