Marcus Aurelius Stoic teachings
Marcus Aurelius: Why rage at bad breath or body odor?…
Why rage at bad breath or body odor? Such a body produces such effects. If someone can understand their impact, use your reason to point it out and help them change—without anger or spectacle.
A paraphrase of a teaching associated with Marcus Aurelius, written for modern readers. Not a transcription of a copyrighted edition.
Irritation often begins where communication should begin. Someone is loud, inconsiderate, late, or unaware of how their behavior affects others, and we build an entire case against them in silence. Our private outrage may feel righteous, but it rarely improves the situation. Reason offers another route: determine whether the issue is real, then address it plainly and with enough respect that the other person can hear it. They may not respond well; that remains outside our control. Still, we have avoided making our own anger the main problem. Today, when a person's habit bothers you, pause before inventing motives for it. If a conversation is appropriate, name the specific effect and make a workable request. If it is not, release what cannot be changed. We do not need a performance of fury to take a problem seriously.
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