Seneca: It is shameful to hate him whom you praise: but…

Hatred is especially irrational when the thing you resent is evidence of someone else's suffering. We praise people for their patience, recovery, or endurance and then sneer at the weakness, illness, poverty, or mistakes that made those virtues necessary. That is a failure of imagination. The person acting badly may be struggling with something you cannot see. This does not require you to accept abuse or ignore real harm. It asks you to separate accountability from contempt. You can say, “This behavior cannot continue,” without adding, “You are beneath sympathy.” When you feel disgust rising, pause and ask whether the thing provoking you is actually a wound. If it is, respond with the firmness the situation requires and the compassion a fellow human deserves. Pity is not permissiveness; it is clear sight without cruelty.