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School of Stoics

Seneca Moral essays

Seneca: It is that of good parents, who sometimes scold…

It is that of good parents, who sometimes scold their children goodnaturedly, sometimes threaten them, and sometimes even flog them.

The passage follows a public-domain translation of Seneca’s moral essays. The reading beside it is ours.

Care sometimes requires correction. A good parent does not let every impulse become a rule, nor do they confuse love with endless approval. Seneca's example reflects the harsher discipline of his age, but the enduring point is that guidance must serve the person's growth, not the adult's anger. The same is true for managers, teachers, coaches, and friends. A boundary can be kind. A difficult conversation can be an act of respect. What makes it healthy is the purpose and the method. Are you correcting this person to help them learn, or to discharge your frustration? Have you made the expectation clear? Is the consequence proportionate? Can they keep their dignity? If the answer is no, it may be punishment masquerading as care. Do not avoid necessary feedback today. Deliver it calmly, specifically, and with the other person's long-term good in view. Firmness and kindness can occupy the same sentence.

Justice Wisdom Temperance Patience Anger Frustration

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