Seneca: You say, that you do not believe that any one…

We rarely recognize our anger as ugly while we are inside it. In the moment, the scowl feels like seriousness; the sharp reply feels like honesty; the public takedown feels deserved. That is why simply telling an angry person to look in the mirror often will not work. They have already decided that fury is justified. The useful mirror comes later: replay the meeting after your heart rate drops, read the text before sending it, or ask someone you trust how you came across. Create distance between the feeling and the verdict. We should be suspicious whenever rage makes us feel powerful or righteous. It is easy to admire the fierceness we are performing. Harder, and better, is to ask whether it made the situation clearer, kinder, or more solvable.