Epictetus Enchiridion
Epictetus: Remember, that not he who gives ill language…
Remember, that not he who gives ill language or a blow insults, but the principle which represents these things as insulting. When, therefore, anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. Try, therefore, in the first place, not to be hurried away with the appearance. For if you once gain time and respite, you will more easily command yourself.
The passage follows a public-domain translation of the Enchiridion. The reading beside it is ours.
An insult has two parts: the words spoken and the judgment that those words have injured your worth. The first may be crude, unfair, or cruel. The second is where you still have room to choose. If you react instantly, the other person has effectively taken control of your mind. Epictetus recommends buying time. Do not send the reply while your pulse is high. Take a walk. Let the meeting end. Draft the message and leave it unsent. That pause does not mean accepting mistreatment. You may need to correct someone, leave a harmful situation, or set a clear boundary. But you will do it better once you are no longer fighting to prove that you cannot be insulted. Today, treat a moment of delay as strength, not weakness. The space between provocation and response is where your freedom lives.
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