Marcus Aurelius Meditations
Marcus Aurelius: Him that offends, to teach with love…
Him that offends, to teach with love and meek ness, and to show him his error. But if thou canst not, then to blame thyself; or rather not thyself neither, if thy will and endeavours have not been wanting.
The passage follows a public-domain translation of Meditations. The reading beside it is ours.
When someone makes a mistake, the instinct is to make them feel it. We want the sharp reply, the public correction, the satisfying verdict. But punishment is not the same as help. If a person can be shown their error with patience and respect, that is usually the most useful thing to do—for them and for the situation. If they cannot hear it, you still have a choice: do not turn their blindness into your bitterness. Marcus also makes room for humility. You are responsible for making an honest effort, not for controlling another person’s response. A colleague may ignore your feedback. A family member may repeat the same pattern. Teach where teaching is possible; protect yourself where it is not. Then release the need to force the outcome. Today, correct one person without trying to humiliate them.
Related passages
- Marcus Aurelius All men are made one for another: either then teach them better, or bear with them.
- Marcus Aurelius At the conceit and apprehension that such and such a one hath sinned, thus reason with thyself; What do I know whether…
- Marcus Aurelius Ever consider and think upon the world as being but one living substance, and having but one soul, and how all things…