Seneca: You must now show a virtue equal to hers, recall…

There is a difference between mourning someone and making their life a reason to abandon your own. Seneca is speaking to a grieving parent: do not let despair make others think you regret having loved, raised, or known this person. That is a hard standard, but an important one. Pain will come after attachment; that was always part of the bargain. The answer is not to love less so we hurt less. It is to carry the loss in a way that bears witness to what was good. Your child, spouse, friend, or mentor was not a mistake because their time was limited. Neither was the joy they brought you. When grief tells you that everything is ruined, answer with one act that reflects the relationship at its best: patience, generosity, courage, laughter, service. Let your sorrow show the depth of the bond, not erase its meaning.