Seneca: Look at your father and your grandfather: the…

Loss is not a competition, and Seneca's harsh comparison should not make anyone ashamed of mourning. But it does expose a trap: sometimes we hold onto grief longer not because love demands it, but because we have made sorrow into an identity. Every death has its own circumstances. Some are violent, some prolonged, some peaceful. None requires us to stop loving. The question is whether our mourning is serving the person we remember or consuming the life they would want us to keep living. Look honestly at the story you tell about the loss. Are you preserving their courage, their character, their place in the family? Or are you preserving only the injury? You can honor a death that came well—or badly—by living with more steadiness. Let their memory call you forward, not only backward.